In my previous message I shared what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6 that believers are to settle their disputes with each other by mature believers, their overseers in church.

I also said the most common dispute in church is divorce which people in church take their dispute to the ungodly in the world to settle their divorce.

If divorce is a common dispute in church, would it not be spiritually wise for pastors to teach what marriage is to God often? But it seems that marriage and divorce is an uncomfortable subject for pastors to teach which does not edify the church.

Jesus taught in Matthew 7 that there will be storms in our lives and we need to have a firm foundation by putting into practice his teachings and commandments, so that we do not collapse when a storm hits. Wouldn’t divorce be a total disaster from a storm. The collapse of a marriage because it did not have a firm foundation of God’s teaching of marriage.

It seems that the subject of marriage and divorce is taught only in private counseling when a married couple is having problems or when a couple in church are planning to get married. Don’t you think that is too late to teach them what God designed marriage to be?

In 1 Corinthian 7, Paul addresses a concern in church regarding marriage.

1 Corinthians 7: 1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.

This question about not marrying was also raised when Jesus taught on marriage and divorce.

Matthew 19: 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate." 7 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." 10 The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." 11 Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Jesus said marriage was ordained by God when he created a man and a woman to care for their desire to be one flesh. Marriage is recognized by God when a man and a woman become one flesh for the first time which he commands that no one must separate. That is to divorce.

Jesus said God will accept divorce when one spouse is unfaithful but to divorce other than unfaithfulness is to commit adultery if they should remarry.
Hebrews teaches marriage is a pledge between a husband and wife to be faithful in their sexual union only to each other.

Hebrews 13: 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Even Jesus disciples had a hard time accepting Jesus’ definition of marriage and divorce. They wanted divorce to be for any or every reason if they were unhappy with their spouse.

There are a lot of false reasons why people marry. Some marry because they believe they can change their spouse to be someone they want them to be to make them happy, they marry to have children or marry to make them feel secure or provide financial stability. But when a believing couple first seek God’s kingdom in their marriage, meaning to live in the way God ordain marriage to be then all these other things can be added to their marriage.

Peter teaches what God ordained how married couples are to treat each other.

1 Peter 3: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if
any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by
the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

1 Peter 3: 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of
the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

A Godly marriage is when the husband and wife love each other by the way they treat each other.

One of the most common reasons for marriage to fall apart is unfaithfulness.
Paul teaches that a husband and his wife are both responsible to prevent Satan from tempting them from becoming unfaithful by fulfilling their marital duties because of their lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7: 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Paul teaches married couples are responsible not to be a stumbling block to their spouse to become unfaithful and not just physically but also in their heart by fulfilling their marital duty.

God ordained marriage to be forever. So, a single believer must use Godly wisdom when choosing the person, they want to be married to forever. Godly wisdom teaches that marrying someone should not be physical first it must be spiritual first, having a common belief of loving God first.

Paul teaches we should not be yoked with an unbeliever.

2 Corinthians 6: 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

You should never believe that you can change an unbeliever to become a believer after you marry them? You do not know if God called them or is his chosen or his elect only God knows. If you love God first, find someone who loves God first which will take time to see their fruit and not just because they say they are a Christian. But you also need to be someone who loves God first before you marry another believer.

Paul teaches about marriage and divorce when you and your spouse get married as unbelievers and later you become a believer.

1 Corinthians 7: 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Paul teaches that when your unbelieving spouse wants to remain married to you, you must not divorce them but continue your marital duties and godly life with your spouse. Paul said the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by you, meaning set apart for God’s use in your marriage for your children so they do not become unclean, meaning become dysfunctional when parents’ divorce. Malachi teaches that in:

Malachi 2: 14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So, guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16 "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. So, guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

God hates divorce due to unfaithfulness, because only in a Godly marriage comes godly offspring because children learn from their parents example of loving and caring for each other.

Paul said only when the unbelieving spouse wants to divorce and not you and not because you were not fulfilling your marital duty or were being a Godly spouse, then it is okay to accept the divorce because God wants you to live in peace. After the divorce the believing spouse can remarry but only to another believer.

Marriage was created by God in the beginning for a man and a woman to care for their sexual desires which he ordained to be only fulfilled within a faithful marriage that is forever. Do not be afraid to teach about Godly marriage in church so that marriages has a firm foundation that prevents divorce.

Be safe in Jesus, Ps. Glenn.